Around 3 years ago—because of consistent student advocacy and determination—gender neutral bathrooms were introduced to AFS’s Upper School. To some, they may not seem important, but they are a safe place for many community members who may not feel comfortable using the gender specific restrooms.
During the last week of October, a sign that read “Adults Only” appeared on one of the doors of the gender-neutral bathroom. This sparked discourse amongst community members and was discussed multiple times by the Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA). At these meetings, many students shared that they found out from the note on the door or remembered a brief announcement being made at assembly.
Paige Sammin ‘29 said, “I was at assembly, and they announced it, and said they were going to elaborate but never did.”
When asked about whether or not this issue would be further addressed in an email or at assemblies, Head of School Nicole Hood responded, “No, there’s actually no plans for further conversation. I wouldn’t want to create the illusion that this was somehow a decision that could be reversed or changed by student activism. It’s not.”
Upper School director Brendon Jobs shared that the staff handbook was being reviewed, and in the handbook was a rule limiting teachers from using the bathroom with students. According to Jobs, this issue has been discussed since he started working at AFS, five years ago.
While the students I interviewed understood the importance of a teachers-only restroom, their reactions were still mixed.
Axel Oravec ‘27 said, “All [the sign] does is cause confusion.”
Rael Santana ‘29 said, “It even gave a bigger sense of community knowing they [teachers] could use the same bathroom and I feel that has been taken away”.
From an administrative perspective, Jobs and Hood expressed a need for staff privacy in bathrooms, and lack of space.
Jobs wanted to put an emphasis on the fact that our school isn’t as big as it seemed. Jobs said, “I took a timer and did a walk from the gender-neutral stall [in the science wing], to the gender-neutral stall in the middle school and it was about a minute long walk. Which, if you are all the way in the science wing it can feel far away, but if you absolutely need a space for neutrality, it’s not five minutes or so far out of the way where it’s impossible.”
Even though this decision is definite, Jobs is taking steps to ease some of the concerns like cleanliness, respect, and staying in communication with students.
Casio • Feb 20, 2026 at 12:16 pm
I think the gender neutral bathrooms are a necessity, and to take them away feels like a betrayal to those of us who fought so hard just to get a few accessible bathrooms. But both sides of the spectrum are also important, as there is a possibility that a teacher or staff member needs a bathroom to themselves due to illness or something like that. It is a balance, as we need to provide a space for possible ailing persons, but we also need to respect the fight that has gone on to even attain the bathrooms for the gender neutral students in the first place. Most possible solutions are either expensive, expansive, or impossible for the school, thus they turned to this. I believe they could have handled this better as an administration, but we also have to understand there could be legal reasons they can’t share all the information with us.
Mercury • Feb 19, 2026 at 1:18 pm
I think that the opinions shared in the article are ones I agree with. I personally do not think they should’ve taken one of the gender neutral bathrooms. And in taking it, now students who use that are constantly experiencing a non-functioning bathroom. Last week the middle stall was broken, the first stall didn’t lock, and the last stall had no toilet paper. There is no reason I should have to walk to the Berman or the middle school to go to the BATHROOM because I feel dysphoric otherwise. AFS could help trans students feel safe by actually fixing bathrooms.
Jada Downs • Feb 19, 2026 at 10:58 am
I can understand both perspectives, but the students more than the adults. I do believe in privacy for teachers but students as well because that’s a right everyone deserves esspecally a school setting where students are required by law to attend, unlike teachers, they have a choice to be a teacher. Also, the fact that the head of school said there are no further plans for conversation rubs me the wrong way because this is a school with consensus and values that ensure that everyone is heard; it doesn’t feel this way here. It’s disruptive and unnecessary to walk to the bathroom in the middle school. Either another explanation is owed to the student body, or they reopen the bathrooms to all.
may • Feb 19, 2026 at 10:53 am
I think both of the perspectives can be seen but I also resonate more with the students because it should be a space for all. I understand teachers want a single stall bathroom for themselves but I also think that that’s not the real reason for this ban and the real reason is they don’t want people to do things in the bathrooms which is another reason they made the stalls so small. Also it is not accessible at all. I think afs can make a bathroom that everyone feels safe in and where anyone can go. And maybe make another bathroom for the teachers if they really want one.
Amani • Feb 18, 2026 at 11:35 am
I understand teachers wanting to use single stall bathrooms, but I don’t understand why they had to lock the gender neutral bathroom for students. I get the cleanliness concern, but the gender neutral stalls in the junior hallway are so neglected. When I went in, the lock on the stall door was broken. Also the stalls are not very accessible. I also think that quietly banning students from one of the gender neutral bathrooms was wrong. I didn’t even know the ban was put into place. I heard about it from a GSA meeting and I don’t remember hearing any kind of announcement. I feel like not informing students because you don’t want to have a discussion is not the best way to go about things. I do understand this discussion, but I do not agree with how this was handled.
Daniel • Feb 18, 2026 at 11:30 am
I can see both perspectives, but mostly, I agree with students. I think that there was a lack of communication about this change, and student’s definitely should have been told about this happening. I also think that they shouldn’t have taken one of the gender neutral bathrooms, that students worked so hard for. I also think that it creates confusion, because some seniors are adults, so are they allowed to use it? I do agree though that if it is a rule in the handbook, it should be followed, but I feel like there are different ways to go about this.
John Breen • Feb 18, 2026 at 10:54 am
I agree with both perspectives on this article. From the point of view of a student I feel it does take away from our community by separating students and faculty in a way, but it does seem necessary in the way that keeping a private space separate for faculty and students is more appropriate and sensible. I think the execution of converting one of the gender neutral restrooms to an adult only restroom could have been done better, and I don’t understand why it was treated as something small when for most people it is a big deal. I think it would be best to address the change and give an explanation as to why there was a change in the first place. I believe any kind of reasonable explanation can help the conflict around the gender neutral bathrooms die down.
caroline • Feb 18, 2026 at 10:24 am
I understand and respect the arguments both the teachers and the student body made in this article. I think it is important that the teachers have privacy and since it’s in the handbook, it’s also school policy, but I think this situation was handled poorly because students fought for so long to open these bathrooms so that gender neutral students can feel comfortable using them and not have to go all the way to the middle school. I think it’s very important that AFS upholds their quaker values as a quaker school, though this decision was made without any student input which is unfair in my opinion. I think the needs of the student body should be closer to equal with the needs of the faculty because balance and community is a big part of our school and its unfair to kick the kids out of a space they put so much effort into obtaining.
Harrison • Feb 11, 2026 at 8:32 am
I agree with both perspectives in this article. I understand from an administrative standpoint that teachers should have access to their own bathrooms, but I also understand the frustration and lack of communication to students about why the general bathroom is closed. It does not seem fair that students fought for three years to open the gender neutral bathroom, for one day, administration to review the handbook and decide teachers need their own bathroom, that step should’ve been taken before the three years of work had been put in. That said, I do respect Nicole‘s decision to outright say this is not up for discussion, as she is not giving false hope or setting people up to put in work for no outcome. I believe that is the correct way to handle things if something is not going to be changed.
Adalyn • Feb 6, 2026 at 2:40 pm
I understand and completely get that adults should have different restrooms than students, but at the same time, I feel like this situation could have been handled better. Maybe they could have taken more time to find a space to put some more bathrooms that adults could use, or at least met with GSA and consulted with them to see if this was something they could do, something. When I first saw the sign, I genuinely thought it wasn’t real and was confused, but I feel like that just goes to show the lack of clarity I had as a student. Also, I don’t think they should just take away a bathroom that students worked so hard to advocate for, that just feels wrong.
Joseph • Feb 3, 2026 at 11:38 pm
The administration must make non-negotiable decisions, but many AFS students emphasize the symbolic importance of gender-neutral bathrooms restrooms in the context of a school that values safety, inclusion, and community. It seems like the school didn’t share much of their reasoning with the students before making the decision, which led to frustration among the latter. Going back to the symbolism, if gender-neutral restrooms are meant to support students who aren’t comfortable with going to the bathroom elsewhere, then it’s not a good sign when that is taken away from them with little communication. This event calls into question the tension and power dynamics between administrators and the voice of the students – and also the direction in which AFS is moving with regards to accommodating diverse identities.
Cora Giuliano • Feb 3, 2026 at 10:36 pm
I really appreciate the light you’ve shed on this situation. It was definitely confusing when all of a sudden the gender neutral bathroom became a faculty bathroom, even if I personally never really used it. The conflicting needs of the faculty and the student body make the whole matter really difficult. The reasoning behind making the bathroom faculty only makes sense. Having bathrooms all of the student body feels comfortable using is a necessity but I think the main issue most students have with the change is really how it happened. We weren’t told beforehand and when groups like GSA went to talk to the administration about it, they were shut down. Again, I totally understand why this change was made and why it can’t be reversed, but I think if students were made aware of the change beforehand, it wouldn’t be as big of an issue.
Cadence Ann Carson • Feb 3, 2026 at 7:40 pm
I think this article highlights an important tension between student needs and teacher/staff decisions. I understand the teacher/staff’s reasoning around staff privacy and school policy, but I disagree with the specific way the change was communicated, it resulted in unnecessary confusion and frustration among the student body. The sudden appearance of the “Adults Only” sign, without a clear follow-up explanation, made many students feel left out of a conversation that affects them directly. Especially the students who rely on gender neutral bathrooms as a place where they feel comfortable. To better support students of all gender identities, I feel that AFS could focus on a more transparent conversation that includes student opinion, even when the change has already been finalized. Even if the policies remain the same, clarity and honesty can go a long way in making the students feel more respected and supported.
Aisling S • Feb 3, 2026 at 11:36 am
Although the issue of having a gender neutral accessible restroom may not be an issue that majority of students at AFS face, how the situation was handled has highlighted an issue we have all been facing at different levels. That issue is the disconnect that administrators have with both the teachers, and the students. None of the teachers that I have talked to seem to have an issue with students using the restroom alongside them. However, if the issue is truly contracts, then why are teachers still using the same restroom as students, despite the fact that there is now an adults only bathroom. The administration has, in all honesty, done an awful job at communicating with the upper school about this situation. Especially since it comes from the very administrators with a private bathroom up in the tyson house. Additionally, the argument that it only takes a minute to walk to the bathroom in the middle school is null when it is an accessible restroom made for people on crutches, wheelchairs, with service dogs, or any number of other possibilities that could stretch that time to be much longer.
Anais • Feb 3, 2026 at 10:00 am
I think that all bathrooms should be gender neutral. Gender is a social construct and nothing more. There is no reason to separate them. This issue is affecting people who have different identities and it’s important that they feel supported and seen. We are a quaker school and it’s important that everyone feels seen and heard. However, the school hasn’t made these people feel seen or heard. I have attended meetings about the bathrooms during lunch and I have their frustrations. I feel like all schools don’t advocate enough for non-binary people and queer people in general. We need to move forward as a society not back.
Anjali • Feb 1, 2026 at 8:08 pm
I think it is so important for AFS to be clear with the decisions they make about the student body. The thing that has disturbed me the most was that the decision was only announced through a sign on the bathroom door. The GSA had fought so hard and had so many decisions in past school years to have gender neutral bathrooms, so I think it would be fair to have at least a clear announcement from the administration. Furthermore, so many students need to use the gender-neutral bathrooms. The bathrooms are constantly breaking to begin with, and I think in order to make the bathrooms truly equitable, which is one of AFS’s/Quaker core values, the importance of them needs to be recognized. Continuing to respond to a group of students’s needs, even though it’s a minority, maybe especially because it’s a minority, is crucial.
Jenny • Feb 1, 2026 at 7:20 pm
What stands out to me in this article is how a decision that may seem small on paper carries a much larger emotional and symbolic weight for students. Gender-neutral bathrooms were created to provide safety and comfort, especially for those who already feel vulnerable in shared spaces. When access to one of these bathrooms is restricted without clear explanation, it’s understandable that students feel confused and unsettled rather than reassured. I understand the administration’s concern about staff privacy, and that need is valid. However, the way this change was communicated—or not communicated—undercuts that justification. Learning about the policy through a sign or a brief announcement makes the decision feel imposed rather than thoughtfully discussed. For a school that values dialogue and student voice, that silence is frustrating. It suggests that practicality was prioritized over the lived experiences of students who rely on these spaces daily. If AFS wants to uphold its commitment to inclusivity, future decisions like this need more transparency and genuine engagement with the people most affected.
Liam H • Feb 1, 2026 at 5:06 pm
At the risk of waxing nostalgic about a three-year-old event, I recall when the bathrooms were renovated. It was a really great moment! Sure, there were flaws that I think many were willing to point out, but the new gender-neutral bathrooms were, when added, a big win for the AFS community. To me, this new development is indicative of a step back. Truly, right now, fewer gender-neutral bathrooms is a bad situation no matter how you spin it, as a fair helping of completely cisgender students are using these restrooms and, with the amount doing so, there are quite frankly already not enough gender-neutral bathrooms for AFS’ student body. If AFS administration wants to push inclusivity forward, this is the last way to do that.
Aarohi • Feb 1, 2026 at 1:53 pm
While the issue of not having access to a gender-neutral bathroom doesn’t affect me specifically, I still feel as though it is important to speak up for important things like this. The Quaker idea of community is scattered all over the grounds of AFS. From not having school-issued locks on our lockers, to addressing our teachers by their first names, and coming to conclusions by using consensus instead of voting. Nicole said that “this was somehow a decision that could be reversed or changed by student activism. It’s not.” shocked me as it seems like the farthest thing from a Quaker decision. Being on STAC and a member of JEDI, I was confused when either of these committees weren’t contacted or spoken to before making such a drastic decision. I attended GSA meetings to see if there was anything I could do to help tend to this issue, but after conversations with the Administration, it seems like the faculty-bathroom is to stay.