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Advice of the Month: Friendship, and Workload

Nimo Ren ’25

I have this old group of friends from my old school, pre AFS, and specifically from middle school. Now since they all go to school together they are always hanging out, and it isn’t that I feel left out, it just feels like I’m being left behind. Honestly they probably feel the same way, seeing all the stuff I’m doing with my new friends, but the thing is I really value these friendships and I don’t want to just start reinserting myself because I feel so far removed. We don’t really text, our only interactions are IRL. I just need some advice because I really want to save these friendships and I don’t want them to feel bitter, like I left them behind or that I intentionally started drifting from them. 


I understand what you are going through with that. I think that you might want to try to make an effort with them. 


Tell your friends how you feel because at the end of the day maybe, like you said, they value your friendship with them also.


 Coming to a new school is not easy in the slightest and it’s hard to keep up with old friends while still making time for the new friends you found. It’s a balancing act when you make time for friends. I have friends from my old school that I still hang out with. 


For a while, I was afraid of being left out and I gaslighted myself into thinking I was childish for feeling that way, but once I got out of that headspace I realized that no matter how much you think you’re going to be left behind. 


You and your friends can pick up right where you left off like nothing ever happened. I think you should text them more often. Is a way to hear from your friends and that way you won’t be out of the loop. And you could be right about that they might feel the same way.


 They may see you on social media and feel left out but I think everyone can move past things like that. We are all growing and maturing teenagers that have their own lives. Not everyone can be in two places at once. But I bet when you need them and they need you y’all got each other. 


So I would stop worrying about that. Because even though something changes they can remain the same.


How do you handle multiple big projects at once without getting too overwhelmed?


For me, when I handle a big project, I break down which project is done first and which has the bigger stamp on your grade. 


Whether it’s a group project or an individual one you don’t want to wait till the last minute to get it done. Even though sometimes I do my best work when I’m under pressure. 


I don’t recommend the stress that comes with it. 


Another good way to take some of the load off you is communicating with your teachers. Even though sometimes asking for help may be hard for some. 


Teachers understand that we have a life outside of school and are willing to help with anything that goes on. 


Sometimes if I’m really stuck on work I go see Megan in the WILF. She helps me get my life together and snaps me back to reality so I can turn my assignments in. Her office is always open to anyone in need so set up a meeting with her and she will help you. 


I say all this to say, you’re smart and if you apply yourself and use all the resources that are in front of you, you’ll hand in those projects and get the grade you wanted. 


My mentor once told me that in all her years of living, she didn’t get to where she is by sitting down. She wanted her life to be golden and so she made it how she wanted to. Yes, there were so many mistakes and times she wanted to quit but she didn’t. 


Don’t let that feeling of being overwhelmed control you get that work done and take breaks if needed don’t push yourself too hard. And with whatever happens at least you know you did your best.

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