Redefining Discipline

Facing disciplinary consequences is an uncomfortable reality that contributes to our growth as people. Especially as teenagers with the pressures of grades, activities, conflicts with friends, and sometimes emotional instability, breaking rules seems more intriguing because we believe the world owes it to us after all. 

There is no question that the pressures we face are exceptionally large. With the political and economic state of the world, leaving campus, taking advantage of AI, and eating on the pristine new carpets seem minor. 

As we are a Quaker institution that believes in an absence of hierarchy and a holistic learning environment, upholding these norms alongside discipline policies seems incompatible. 

To what extent does AFS handle infractions, while maintaining a relationship of trust between faculty and students? 

Abington Friends School is a Quaker institution with a strong core value of mutual respect. AFS and other Quaker schools demonstrate this value by including different perspectives from students and faculty thus implementing Quaker testimonies in difficult decisions.

Because of the nature of a quaker institution, the culture around discipline is very different to the processes at non-quaker schools. 

One of the challenges of discipline is that it sometimes can disrupt the sense of community for students. As a school and a Quaker institution, sometimes it’s tough to navigate the intersections and the forks of the two roads of Quakerism and being an academic environment.

Quakerisim teaches that each person has a light inside of them, which is why even when it comes to discipline it is difficult to adopt a black and white way of thinking while simultaneously upholding the Quaker values. 

If each person holds light, how should a teacher go about deciding punishment? How does a school ensure that its course of discipline is not one that makes the community less strong?

These are questions that are considered when it comes to discipline at AFS. There is tension between the fundamentals of Quakerism and the needs of a school community. 

Upper School director Brendon Jobs says, “Quaker schools are made to wrestle with tensions, not all schools are built that way.” 

One prevalent example of a disciplinary action that is meant to uphold community is the system of Dean’s Advisory Council or DAC. The DAC process uplifts  student voice in difficult decision making to heal mistrust within the community.

DAC is the bridge between faculty and students, there to represent the student perspective while holding integrity.

Kennedy Gilbert ‘24, a member of DAC all four years of high school, says, “It’s a way for students not to feel punished by…the Dean of Students…I’m a student and I understand what it’s like to be stressed out … I feel like there is a little bit of a grace when it comes to DAC.” 

Dean of Students Tina Yen says, “In DAC, the conversation that happens is…how can we hold community in this?” 

But is this fair to students in that students are holding other students accountable? 

 Gilbert says, “I think it helps a student because…having an adult/ deans making the decisions…can be one sided…on DAC we can relate to the student in a way.”

However, DAC can sometimes be perceived as a system where students punish other students.

Gilbert says, reflecting on those tensions, “I feel like the people I have DAC(ed)… definitely have their feelings towards me…they don’t know what I have said when they leave the room, but I get that though. I guess the rep is that [students]… look at us like the police.”

DAC can be misinterpreted as a prosecution board, but it is a unique system that puts more students in the conversation around both discipline and community restoration, which it is important to recognize. 

In addition to DAC, AFS has a system of “norms” that are upheld throughout all three divisions and in every classroom. The expectations that teachers have for students in the classroom revolve around those norms.  

Upper School English teacher Haley Hellmann says in regards to how norms shape her classroom, “It depends on the class/group, but norms I think are the most important things that I focus on…In 9th grade we’ve been strict about the phones and being present, not so much with the upper grades because…it’s a little bit more their responsibility.”

When asked about the frequency of consequences given, Hellman says, “I haven’t taken any phones this year. I have given a detention…, but I’ve had conversations…intended to restore situations…and that’s been…my way of disciplining because I firmly believe…within the classroom my relationship with a student matters most so I try to heal it within my walls if possible.”

Hellman uses the norms often to make sure her students know and can agree on the expectations of them. 

Similarly, History Department Chair Drew Benfer says, “I’ve always known AFS as a place that has given a range of consequences and supports…I think we talk all the time about expectations.”

Regarding how discipline can equate to Quaker norms and if discipline creates tensions between faculty and students, Benfer says, “My understanding of Quaker values is there is not  a statement that says ‘no discipline is permitted’ the same way having been a varsity coach, there’s nothing that says in Quakerism you can’t compete…There is a way you do it.” 

Both teachers provide examples of the ways that being an institution built on Quaker values affects their classroom methods and experiences. Having norms and agreements as opposed to rules creates an environment where students are aware of the expectations that teachers have of them, and it ensures that they know why those expectations exist. The norms are built to center community and the belonging of everyone. 

One of the most unique features of the discipline practices at AFS is the work towards restoration opposed to focusing on the punishment itself. AFS recognizes that we’re human beings bound to make mistakes and offers a holistic solution to the harm that may interfere with the norms that are upheld. 

Ava Cole ‘25, a member of the new restorative practice program, says, “It is important…it helps with our development. I see it in myself…the difference in how I approach challenges and problems because of this training.” 

Even though DAC or other restorative circles may be misinterpreted as the AFS police, keeping tabs on students that mess up, as undercover student spies waiting with bated breath for a mistake to occur, the purpose of DAC is to advocate for student needs and create a space for a student to tell their side of the story with moments of reflection.

At AFS, we believe truth and justice go hand in hand, and restorative practice work contributes to our Quaker beliefs rather than withdrawing from them.

Overall, AFS is in a unique position with discipline. The Quaker values, specifically of Community, are centered deeply in the restorative practices and discipline. 

No institution is perfect, but the inclusion of restorative practices and Quaker values in the conversation around discipline are unique to our community.